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Getting Along in the Two-Parent System

It is a great thing when a child can come into this world with two parents that are committed to each other and committed to caring for their child. Having two parents to raise a child is like having two eyes or two legs. Nature provides an extra in case something unusual happens to deprive the child of one. No one wants to get along with just one eye or one leg; two is much more useful, but at least there can often be at least one.There are roles that fathers can perform uniquely and that mothers can perform uniquely, such as gender role-modeling. Boys and girls both benefit from having one of each. Also, with two parents in a family you have the benefit of two pairs of hands and pairs of eyes to tend and watch the children. Children can be a great deal of work as well as a lot of joy. While the mother may be the only one to provide breast milk for her infant, there is still plenty of work involved in raising a child that the father can share in. Both parents will benefit from divvying up work and play as fairly as possible. It is not unsuitable for certain parents to specialize in specific tasks they enjoy more or are more adept at, if both are agreed about it. Just be certain that one parent does not always end up being the playful and fun parent, and the other one ends up being the disciplinarian and work parent.Parents in the two-parent system need to be in agreement with each other about the family rules and how discipline will be handled. Hopefully, the two parents will have plenty of discussions before a baby arrives, but many situations will crop up as you go along raising your children that you did not think to discuss in advance. It is essential that discipline not be argued about between the two parents in front of the children. Parents will come from differing backgrounds and both need to acknowledge that their way may not be the only right way. There may even be a third way that things can be handled. When both parents agree on a rule or a consequence for child behavior then both parents should apply the principles with their children consistently. If parents cannot agree they should keep working together until they find a solution they both can be happy with. It is wrong for one partner to assume that their way carries more weight in the argument because they are the female parent or the male parent.  Having two parents in a child's life is a great benefit to all three: the mother, the father and the child. No family is perfect, but with love and effort, the work and the joy of raising children can be shared. Children also love having two special people in their life who love them as no one else can.

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